Held

“On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me,

and I am in you.” John 14:20

Andrew Murray’s words from Absolute Surrender hit like a sharp arrow piercing an old memory. When exposed, it suddenly became spiritual revelation.

“In the beginning of the faith-life, faith is struggling. But as long as faith is struggling, faith has not attained its strength. But when faith in its struggling gets to the end of itself, and throws itself upon God and rests on Him, then joy and victory come.”

As a 29-year-old woman with two young boys, the news of my husband’s tragic death seemed unbearable. Shocking news hits like a scorching fire and seems to overtake and consume your world. I had survived what I thought was the impossible by telling my boys that their Daddy was gone, never to return. The next accomplishment was to return to our house, but I honestly have no memory of how we got there. Friends were already gathered doing what friends do at a time like this. Our parents had been called and would be arriving in the next few hours. Time stood still, but phone calls and a continual flow of people gathering told me the nightmare was for real.

“If only my Daddy were here!” He had always been the rock in my life. He seemed to bring peace to every situation and his love covered a multitude of things. I sprang to my feet every time the door opened expectantly waiting for my parent’s arrival. Finally they walked through the door and we quickly escaped to my bedroom. Sitting on the side of my bed, I threw myself upon my Daddy. I crawled into his lap to be held in his arms as if all would be fine once I got there. With his strong arms wrapped around me and our heads buried into each other, we wept together. All of me was held; not just my body, but also everything that gripped me was wrapped up in my Daddy’s strength and love.

I have come to know that this is what faith feels like. In my total devastation, loss, inadequacy, inability, I throw myself upon God and rest on Him. I not only put my body on Him, but all of me. Every fear, every doubt, every shocking moment of life is thrust upon Him. In my heart, I must freely put all of me into Him. Held by Him, I am wrapped and consumed by His strength and love.

This is where we are to live all of life.

Abiding

Surrendered

Held

Not up and down from His lap, but living from His life. It is our natural tendency to throw ourself upon Him in desperate times, jumping down to live on our own when we feel strong and able. There is a desperation that must come acknowledging that I can do nothing without Him. Wrapped up in His strength, His love, His omnipotence, I not only have everything that I need, I am everything.

Are you living from His lap?

“He is in the Father, I am in Him and He is in me.”

Now that is safety and security. There is strength and courage; joy and victory.

You are never too old, too adult, too grown or too smart, too weak to crawl on His lap. Don’t jump down when you feel strong! Live from there.

Abiding Surrendered Held

Lessons in the Boat

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 3:13-14

Once a year, I take my leadership team away for a personal spiritual retreat and a time to pray and plan for the coming months. This year the lake provided much needed solace, sabbath, fun and laughter. On our last evening we hurried through dinner and quickly made our way to the boat for a sunset cruise. I moved from my original position to the seat that was front center, facing toward the back. This gave me a great view of all six of those called of the Lord to partner with me in discipling women. They stared into the sunset as I stared at them and the pattern of the wake made from the boat pushing through the water. I rejoiced in the goodness of the Lord and snapped pictures of their faces beaming with the joy of the Lord. My eyes moved beyond the boat, the treasured faces, the beautiful wake and then widened to see the vastness of the lake, the trees, the sky and all of the beauty surrounding us.

Shortly I decided to move to the back of the boat facing forward and declared:

“I have seen where we have been,

now let me see where we are going.”

As I heard my own words I was aware they held meaning for our personal lives as well as for the ministry. Since returning from the retreat, I have pondered those words and gained great wisdom.

• Take note of who you are journeying with. Whether it is your family, business partners, co-workers, staff or ministry team, take time to look at them and appreciate them. Each one is fearfully and wonderfully made and should be valued as so. Thank God for them and the uniqueness of each one and the unique way each carries and displays God.

• ​Don’t stare at the empty seats in your boat. Those who once were there but no longer are for whatever reason. Their absence does not deter God’s plan. Thank Him for what you once had and press on. Look beyond the boat to see the glory of God all around you.

• ​Take time to glance at where you have been. Look backward long enough to see God’s hand in it all, remembering His faithfulness. Pondering the goodness of the Lord gives us courage to face the difficult places in front of us.

• Remember the lessons learned. Thank Him for all the difficult waters He has led you through and the tools He has given you in those places. Toss out any fear attached to the past.

• Don’t allow the enemy in your boat. He will take a seat uninvited and will bring a yoke of heaviness, distraction and discouragement. He will cause a raucous in the stern and get you off course. Throw him overboard quicker than Jonah was tossed into the sea. Set your eyes on the Son in front of you.

• Let the wake of the past give you anticipation of what is to come. Get up and move, positioning yourself to look at where you are going. Live looking outward and forward. Live life staring at Him, allowing Him to give you His perspective. He knows what is ahead.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11

• Boat life is intended to accomplish kingdom results. Remember God has placed you in the boat together for His purposes, not just to be family and friends. We are steering toward a destination that is far more glorious than the sunset. Our eyes are set on Him and accomplishing our God given purpose for the Kingdom of God. Seek to know Him and His purpose everyday.

From one boater to another:

“Be encouraged. There is great purpose in your journey. Press on toward the goal. As you live out of His life within you, you carry His name making a lasting wake for the entire world to glorify His name. Make a lasting mark. Leave a legacy of faith for those coming behind you. Your wake will propel them into their future. “

Praying for Ketchup

The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.

Ps. 24:1

Our conversation jumped around all over the place as we had much to pack into this little window of time. It had been almost two years and our hearts continued to be knit together because of our love for God. We hung onto each other’s words knowing that as we spoke we were not only pouring out, but also filling up each other’s heart.

Hers had been a very difficult two years which included uprooting her family and moving to a new city, compounded by many physical and spiritual battles. She had sought out the answers to her physical issues but those answers were delayed. Her husband had fought the battle with her and had been the rock for the family. When her faith slowly evaporated, his sustained her. After another move, and a new set of doctors, healing came and peace returned.

As I sipped my coffee, a little string of her words stirred something within me. I knew God was speaking when the tears threatened to spill into my coffee. It was simple and even said with a hint of humor, but touched my heart.

“After years and years of living by raising support for ministry, I was so excited that our life was changing and there would be a small salary and I no longer had to pray for ketchup. I am so tired of praying for ketchup.”

“Praying for ketchup?’ I asked.

“Yes, I was looking forward to living more comfortably where I didn’t have to pray if there was enough money for ketchup. ”

I definitely understood what she was saying as I had known their life of dependence on God for everything. But I also knew that God had more to say to me. It is easy to quickly dismiss this kind of emotion that comes from a ketchup statement, but I am training my heart to ask God what is going on within. I want to stay tender to His Spirit and allow Him to speak any way that He chooses. Before I left the parking lot, I made a few notes in my phone and proceeded to my next appointment in deep conversation with God.

I never pray for ketchup! I live a comfortable life and have what I need and much of what I want. I add to my grocery cart what I want and realize I have forgotten the days when I dug under the couch cushions to find a few more coins to buy only the essentials. I like it better this way than the early married years. I like getting the shoes and clothes and food and extras that I want when I want. I like a life filled with ketchup.

If you have the time and patience look back at my last paragraph and count all of the “I’s”. I think you will find 12. Much of our lives are still filled with self…me, my, I!

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Gal. 2:20

Truth be told, the fight of mankind is to be self-reliant and self-sufficient, in need of nothing. We quickly move from knowing we are totally dependent on God to living for ourselves.

We don’t like to have need that presses us to live disciplined lives that are totally dependent on God.

My friend had learned the lesson. God is the provider of all. He owns it all. As we submit to Him and acknowledge all of our need, He always provides. She had learned from the life of strict discipline…ketchup comes from God. He gives all that we need and in His time and His way, He blesses with the little extras just because he is a good, good Father that delights in giving to His children.

I confessed the truth found within my heart and declared to God that I want to live needy and dependent on Him for everything. I then began to rejoice in Ps. 23:1

“Because the Lord is my Shepherd; there is nothing that I lack;

In Him. I have everything that I need.”

Keep me needy Lord!

“Lord, may I have some ketchup please”